I just saw something on TV that really blew me away....

That"s unusual coming from me, as I don"t even watch very much
TV these days, so the odds that I would be watching something
that would totally floor me are just about zero. Despite that,
I"m here to tell y"all that I just watched a TV program that
almost made me come up out of my chair...

I hate to admit that I can"t even remember the name of it as I
was watching it at 3 am this morning (I have really weird
sleeping habits, and let"�s just leave it at that). I want to say
that it was something like "�Animal Kingdom Match-Up,"� or
whatever. The show had a very basic premise - what would happen
if you took two different species from the animal kingdom and
matched them up against each other? Which would win? I thought
it was pretty creative, but what cinched it for me was the two
species they said they were about to match up, a tiger and an
anaconda!

A tiger and an anaconda - talk about the Super Bowl of animal
kingdom match-ups! For a kid that grew up like I did watching
all kinds of nature programs, this was something amazing,
intriquing, and incredible all rolled up into one. And it
appeared that they were going to literally match them up and let
them fight it out right there on the air! Think about it the two
combatants...

A tiger - lightning fast, armed with razor sharp claws that
could take a man"s arm off in one swipe, and a bite that could
quickly send someone to the promised land. A cat weighing
hundreds of pounds that will not hesitate to attack anything
that he feels may be threatening him.

An anaconda - one of the largest snakes in the world, they can
grow upwards to thirty feet, and can be a foot wide across the
middle. They"re so large that they can swallow whole species
like alligators, cows, or even humans. They kill their victims
by wrapping coils around them and constricting (squeezing to
death) them. And if all of this isn"t bad enough, an anaconda
has a large head with razor sharp fangs, if one bites you
pulling it off is nearly impossible.

It"s safe to say that a fight between these two species would be
something along the lines of King Kong vs. Godzilla, and, if
anything, that might be low keying it. The announcer proceeded
to raise my anticipation level even more when he started
handicapping the fight. He said that if the anaconda was able to
bite the tiger"s head that it was all over, that this would
enable the giant snake to hold the tiger and quickly wrap a
couple of coils around him. On the other hand, a tiger is so
quick that it possibly could avoid the strike of the anaconda.
If that happened, the tiger"s jaws or claws would be enough to
do serious damage to the snake. It was then noted that a couple
of bites to the snake would probably kill it from just infection
alone. Man, after hearing all that, I can tell y"�all that I was
wide awake and ready to watch the animal kingdom fight of the
century!

Do y"all want to know who won? I hate to have to tell y"�all
this, but they didn"t actually match up a live anaconda and
tiger. What they did was assign a team of experts to build a
mechanical anaconda and tiger. I guess they were concerned that
the animal rights people would be on their butts if they staged
a real fight, and I"�m sure they were right about that. Honestly,
though, I lost interest in the program when I discovered that a
real fight was not in the cards. Maybe I"d have to sum it up
like this - watching a fight between a mechanical tiger and a
mechanical anaconda would be about as interesting as watching
the prettiest female stripper in the world put on more clothes
as her background music was playing. Some things in this world
have to be real to mean something, and that definitely holds for
true for a battle between an anaconda vs. a tiger. Man, just
think, if we could"ve gotten a real fight goin" with Marlin
Perkins in there with "�em both as the special guest referee....

About the author:
Ed"s latest book, "�Rough As A Cob,"� can be ordered by calling
River City Publishing toll-free at: 877-408-7078. He"s also a
popular after dinner speaker, and his column runs in a number of
Southeastern publications. You can contact him via email at:
ed3@ed-williams.com, or through his web site address at:
www.ed-williams.com.

Author : Ed Williams
Site : www.goarticles.com

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